Now more than ever we all need help in dealing with uncertainty, and there is no group this applies to more than kids. Even though adversity is a part of life, it doesn’t make it easier to deal with. No matter what, your child will be dealt a hand in life that throws them off guard.
Teaching them to be resilient doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it’s something that happens little by little, wrapped up in the experiences of day to day life. A big part of being resilient is based on mindset. In other words, you can help to shape how your child views themselves, their mistakes and challenges, and how well they will be able to bounce back from them. For a small child, a lesson in resiliency can be taught in something like learning to tie their shoes, or even learning to share. Practicing these life skills provides multiple experiences to try, fail, try again, fail, keep trying, and well, you get the idea.
Parents can play a big role throughout this process by using their responses to encourage the child in an otherwise frustrating process. First, by teaching how to do the skill. Next, giving the child the space to try it on their own and inevitably fail (no child can tie their shoes on the first try, or even the second or third). The part of learning the skill by practicing is the sweet sauce of teaching resiliency. It’s here, in the middle of learning the skill that kids are likely to be feeling the sting of failure, of trying something again and again without success. You can step in to remind the child that no, they don’t know how to tie their shoes, ‘yet’. Yet is such a powerful word because it implies that kids will master that skill in the future. To the frustrated child, who says in exasperation “I can’t do it!” You might say something like, “You can’t tie your shoes yet”. In time, your child will begin to adopt that mindset, and will expect to master the skill.
Being resilient won’t happen overnight, but with time your child will gain the confidence they need to know they can weather any storm and come out stronger on the other side.